First Indulge In Your Passions As Much As You Can Till You Get Really Bored - Osho

- OSHO, I SEE THAT I AM EAGER TO DROP MY JEALOUSY, JUDGMENTS, GREED, ANGER, ALL THE BADDIES. YET AT THE SAME TIME I AM RELUCTANTLY CLINGING TO THE PARTS OF MY PERSONALITY I STILL ENJOY INDULGING IN -- MY PASSION, MY CLOWN, MY GYPSY ADVENTURER.
WHY AM I SO AFRAID THAT JUST TO BE THE WATCHER WILL BE BORING?

Deva Dwabha, I can see you must be in a great conflict. You say, "I see that I am eager to drop my jealousy, judgments, greed, anger, all the baddies. Yet at the same time I am reluctantly clinging to the parts of my personality I still enjoy indulging in -- my passion, my clown, my gypsy adventurer. Why am I so afraid that just to be the watcher will be boring?"

It seems you are not experienced enough. You have just heard these great things: if you drop your jealousy, judgments, greed, anger and all the baddies, you will have all the pleasures and blissfulness of paradise showering on you.

In fact you are not really interested in dropping them. If you can get all the pleasures and ecstasies of enlightenment and still can keep your jealousy, judgments, greed and anger, I think you will be immensely happy.
The trouble is you will have to choose. How can you drop your greed and jealousy and judgments and anger, if you enjoy your passion, your clown, your gypsy adventurer?

My suggestion is, first enjoy as much as you can your gypsy adventurer, your passion, your clown. Be completely fed up with them. Don't get in a split.
That happens to many people, hearing great words: they create a split within themselves. I don't want you to be schizophrenic; I want you to be psychologically and spiritually healthy.




My suggestion is, first indulge in your passions as much as you can till you get really bored. This has to be the first step. Then only can you take the second step very easily. It is the first step which is preventing you from taking the second step. When you are utterly finished, you are bound to drop all greed, jealousy, judgments, anger. What are you going to do with these things? It is one complete package... But begin with your passion, because I have never heard that there has ever been a single person in the world who did not become fed up with his passion.

Yes, if you live a lukewarm life you may not get fed up. But live totally, pour your whole energy into your passions, into your clownhood, into your gypsy adventurer, and soon you will see that what you were thinking was going to bring great blessings to you has only destroyed your energies and has left you like a spent cartridge.

Only then will you be able to drop jealousy -- and there will be no need to drop it. Then they will all drop on their own accord. Then on the third step you will not be able to ask this: Will the watcher be boring?
Do you think I am bored? I am not even bored with you. Every day, morning, evening, I come with such joy to see you. I never remember that you are the same people I have seen the night before.

I am absolutely fresh every moment. The watcher is not boring; the watcher is such an utter silence, such tremendous peace and such a joy arising within yourself, not coming from outside. And the watcher brings you experiences that you have not even dreamed about.

You have heard the word `ecstasy' but you don't know what it is. You have heard the word `truth'; you don't know what it is. You have heard the word `beauty' but if somebody asks you what it is you will not be able to answer.

The watcher brings satyam, shivam, sundram to you. It opens the door of truth, of godliness, of immense beauty and eternal life. It gives you new eyes, new perception. The trees look greener than they are looking now, and even a small wild flower gives you so much joy, so much wonder.
The whole world becomes such a mystery.
There is no question of being bored.

The world for the watcher goes on changing so quickly. It is only for the people who are blind -- and I call all those people blind who don't have their watcher awake; that is the only spiritual blindness. That's why you think these are the same trees, these are the same birds, this is the same sun, this is the same ocean. You can't see that existence goes on renewing itself every moment.
I love to quote Heraclitus, who says, "You cannot step in the same river twice." Finally I have improved upon Heraclitus. I say you cannot step in the same river even once, because the river is constantly flowing.

But to the blind it seems it is the same river. You are each moment becoming different; otherwise how do you come to youth from your childhood? If your first photograph, taken the day you became part of your mother's body, is shown to you, you will have to see it with a magnifying glass, and it will be nothing but a full point. You will not be able to recognize where your nose is, where your ears are, where your eyes are. Is this me? But once it was... and since then things have been changing continuously.
Do you remember what the date was when you suddenly became a young man or a young woman from a child? It doesn't happen suddenly; it goes so gradually that unless you are a watcher you will not be able to see the subtle changes that are happening every moment all around. For the blind it is the same world.

Osho