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11 DECEMBER 1931 AND 19 JANUARY 1990

I would like more and more writers, poets, film makers to steal as much as they can, because truth is not my property, I am not its owner. let it reach in any way, in anybody's name, in any form, but let it reach. Beyond Psychology#3 Q#2 : Osho

If you really want to know who I am, you have to be as absolutely empty as I am. Then two mirrors will be facing each other, and only emptiness will be mirrored: two mirrors facing each other. But if you have some idea, then you will see your own idea in me."

"Only that which cannot be taken away by death is real. Everything else is unreal, it is made of the same stuff dreams are made of." ~OSHO♥

Thursday, 13 August 2009

You Are Buddhas - Pretending Not To Be: Osho

The whole science of the joke is that it takes you toward a certain height of expectation, step by step, and suddenly there is such a turn that you had never expected. Your whole tension that was gathering explodes into laughter… It will be better to tell you a joke…

´Danny discovers that his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.
"I know what we will do!" she said. "Let us take revenge on them." So they went to a motel and had revenge on them.
She said, "Let us have more revenge."
So they kept having revenge and more revenge. Finally Danny said, "That's enough revenge. I don't have any more hard feelings."

If the end comes in such a way that you were not expecting - you could not have figured out that it will end in such a way - it brings a sudden laughter. It is a release of tension.


Yoga Lalita, the ultimate joke, the only joke....

The official, Riko, once asked Nansen to explain to him the old problem of the goose in the bottle.
"If a man puts a gosling into a bottle," said Riko, "and feeds him until he is full-grown, how can the man get the goose out without killing it or breaking the bottle?"
Nansen gave a great clap with his hands and shouted, "Riko!"
"Yes, Master," said the official with a start.
"See," said Nansen, "the goose is out."

This is the only ultimate joke in existence. You are enlightened. You are Buddhas -- pretending not to be, pretending to be somebody else. And my whole work here is to expose you.

The cuckoos have become silent, waiting for a few laughs from you. Remember, laughter is one of the ways in which you can disappear. Only laughter remains. ... The cuckoo has started again, calling forth.

Laughter is a mystery. It is better to experience it than to hear someone talk about it. But one becomes curious, "What is laughter?"
Laughter is the most intelligent factor in you.
Buffaloes don't laugh, and if you meet a buffalo laughing you will go mad! Then it will be impossible to bring you to sanity. No animal laughs. Laughter needs a very sensitive intelligence. It means that you can understand the ridiculousness of a certain situation.
What are jokes? They are a very clever arrangement. They take you in a direction logically, rationally, you start expecting that now this is going to happen, this is going to happen... and it goes on happening according to your expectations. Then comes a sudden turn and something happens which you could never have imagined. That brings laughter to you.
It is a very internal process of your rational expectation. If what you were expecting happens, there will be no laugh. But if you see something that you could not have conceived and everything went well up to the end -- and then suddenly something happens that makes you immediately forget all your reason, logic, mind...
Laughter is the only ordinary experience when you are no longer a mind, and I use it to give you glimpses of no-mind, of meditation, of a transcendence of mind. Perhaps I am the first man in the whole history of mankind who has been using jokes as a preparation for meditation. Jesus would not laugh; Buddha will not laugh; Lao Tzu is not heard to have ever laughed... They were serious people, and they were doing serious work!

Audrey and Marilyn, two retired schoolteachers from Chicago, save up all their money to go on safari in Africa.
They are having a wonderful time going through the jungle, when suddenly a huge gorilla swings down out of the trees, sweeps Marilyn into his arms, and disappears.
He takes her back to his cave, and for a week makes love to her all day and night.
Finally, Audrey organizes a rescue party, and Marilyn is saved and rushed to the hospital.
She is treated there for a couple of days and then her friend comes for a visit.
"Oh, Marilyn!" the friend sobs, "what a ghastly experience! How do you feel?"
"How should I feel?" sobs Marilyn, "he never writes, he never calls...!"

One tranquil afternoon in the deep forest, Doobeedoo, the very handsome frog, is preparing to go for a little hop around the pond. He is feeling pretty good about things today, and a little `out there,' so he puts on his flashy new white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit.
He goes out and takes in the beautiful morning. The sun is streaming softly through the tall pine trees. Doobeedoo takes a big breath of fresh air and smiles. Then full of life, he says to a passing deer, "I am God!"
He hops on for a while, and when he comes across a family of dragonflies, he puffs out his chest and says, "I am God!"
A little further on, he comes to Doreen the duck. He makes big eyes at her and in a spiritual tone says, "I am God!"
Doreen looks at the frog and says, "What?"
Doobee says again, "I am God!"
"I have been watching you," says Doreen, "and you have been telling that to everyone around the pond. Are you serious, or is it just that flashy white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit?"
"I am God!" says Doobee again.
"Enough of your silliness," says the duck. "Away with you, you smart-faced jerk!"
At this, Doobee pulls down his white swimsuit and exposes his machinery.
Doreen looks in amazement and says slowly, "Oh my God!"


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