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NEVER BORN NEVER DIED,
ONLY VISITED THIS PLANET EARTH
11 DECEMBER 1931 AND 19 JANUARY 1990
I would like more and more writers, poets, film makers to steal as much as they can, because truth is not my property, I am not its owner. let it reach in any way, in anybody's name, in any form, but let it reach. Beyond Psychology#3 Q#2 : Osho
If you really want to know who I am, you have to be as absolutely empty as I am. Then two mirrors will be facing each other, and only emptiness will be mirrored: two mirrors facing each other. But if you have some idea, then you will see your own idea in me."
"Only that which cannot be taken away by death is real. Everything else is unreal, it is made of the same stuff dreams are made of." ~OSHO♥
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Thursday, 13 August 2009
- There is no heaven and there is no hell. They are not geographical, they are part of your psychology. They are psychological. To live a life of spontaneity, truth, love and beauty is to live in heaven. To live a life of hypocrisy, lies and compromises, to live according to others, is to live in hell. To live in freedom is heaven, and to live in bondage is hell.
You can decorate your prison cell beautifully, but that makes no difference, it is still a prison cell. And that's what people have been doing, they go on decorating their prison cell. They give it beautiful names, they go on painting it, putting new pictures on the walls, arranging the furniture in new ways, purchasing more and more things -- but they live in prisons.
Your marriage is a prison, your church is a prison, your nationality is a prison. How many prisons you have created! You are not living in one prison, your prisons are like Chinese boxes: a box within a box within a box within a box, it goes on. You are like an onion: peel it, another layer, peel that, another layer. Destroy one prison and you find another inside. This is what hell is.
To reach the very core of the onion, where all layers have been dropped and there is only nothingness in your hands, that is freedom, nirvana, bodhichitta. The consciousness of a buddha, the pure consciousness of a buddha, that is heaven.
And my idea of heaven is not something far away, a heaven in the sky where only angels live.... Do you know that angels don't perspire? They don't need any deodorants. And do you know, in heaven there are no pubs, because pubs are not needed. There are rivers of wine, so you can jump into the rivers and drink to your heart's content. And there are beautiful women who never grow old, who are stuck at the age of eighteen. Centuries and centuries have passed, but they are stuck at the age of eighteen. They have golden bodies. Just think of it! It looks more like a nightmare. Golden bodies? With eyes of sapphire?
No, that is not my idea of heaven. In that way, I am an old Jew....
The minister said to his friend, "Rabbi, I dreamed of a Jewish heaven the other night. It was very lifelike, and it seemed to me to just suit the Jewish ideal. It was a crowded tenement district with Jewish people everywhere. There were clothes on lines from every window, women on every stoop, pushcart peddlers on every corner, children playing stick-ball on every street. The noise and confusion were so great that I woke up."
The rabbi said, "By a strange coincidence, Father Williams, I dreamed the other night of an Episcopalian heaven. It was very lifelike, and it seemed to me just the ideal of Episcopalians. It was a neat suburb, with well-spaced English Tudor and manor houses, with beautiful lawns, each with its own flowerbed, with clean wide tree-lined streets, and all was suffused in warm sunshine."
The vicar smiled. "And the people?"
"Oh," murmured the rabbi, "there were no people."
My idea of heaven is not unearthly. Heaven is here -- you just have to know how to live it. And hell too is here, and you know perfectly well how to live it. It is only a question of changing your perspective, your approach towards life.
The earth is beautiful. If you start living its beauty, enjoying its joys with no guilt in your heart, you are in paradise. If you condemn everything, every small joy, if you become a condemner, a poisoner, then the same earth turns into a hell -- but only for you. It depends on you where you live, it is a question of your own inner transformation. It is not a change of place, it is a change of inner space.
Live joyously, guiltlessly, live totally, live intensely. And then heaven is no more a metaphysical concept, it is your own experience.
´Danny discovers that his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.
"I know what we will do!" she said. "Let us take revenge on them." So they went to a motel and had revenge on them.
She said, "Let us have more revenge."
So they kept having revenge and more revenge. Finally Danny said, "That's enough revenge. I don't have any more hard feelings."
If the end comes in such a way that you were not expecting - you could not have figured out that it will end in such a way - it brings a sudden laughter. It is a release of tension.
OSHO, YES, OSHO, YES. THERE IS NO MORE BOTTLE, NO MORE YOU, NO MORE I, ONLY THIS DRUNKEN JOY THAT MAKES MY TOES CURL IN ECSTASY. BUT, OSHO... WHAT WAS THE JOKE?
Yoga Lalita, the ultimate joke, the only joke....
The official, Riko, once asked Nansen to explain to him the old problem of the goose in the bottle.
"If a man puts a gosling into a bottle," said Riko, "and feeds him until he is full-grown, how can the man get the goose out without killing it or breaking the bottle?"
Nansen gave a great clap with his hands and shouted, "Riko!"
"Yes, Master," said the official with a start.
"See," said Nansen, "the goose is out."
This is the only ultimate joke in existence. You are enlightened. You are Buddhas -- pretending not to be, pretending to be somebody else. And my whole work here is to expose you.
The cuckoos have become silent, waiting for a few laughs from you. Remember, laughter is one of the ways in which you can disappear. Only laughter remains. ... The cuckoo has started again, calling forth.
Laughter is a mystery. It is better to experience it than to hear someone talk about it. But one becomes curious, "What is laughter?"
Laughter is the most intelligent factor in you.
Buffaloes don't laugh, and if you meet a buffalo laughing you will go mad! Then it will be impossible to bring you to sanity. No animal laughs. Laughter needs a very sensitive intelligence. It means that you can understand the ridiculousness of a certain situation.
What are jokes? They are a very clever arrangement. They take you in a direction logically, rationally, you start expecting that now this is going to happen, this is going to happen... and it goes on happening according to your expectations. Then comes a sudden turn and something happens which you could never have imagined. That brings laughter to you.
It is a very internal process of your rational expectation. If what you were expecting happens, there will be no laugh. But if you see something that you could not have conceived and everything went well up to the end -- and then suddenly something happens that makes you immediately forget all your reason, logic, mind...
Laughter is the only ordinary experience when you are no longer a mind, and I use it to give you glimpses of no-mind, of meditation, of a transcendence of mind. Perhaps I am the first man in the whole history of mankind who has been using jokes as a preparation for meditation. Jesus would not laugh; Buddha will not laugh; Lao Tzu is not heard to have ever laughed... They were serious people, and they were doing serious work!
Audrey and Marilyn, two retired schoolteachers from Chicago, save up all their money to go on safari in Africa.
They are having a wonderful time going through the jungle, when suddenly a huge gorilla swings down out of the trees, sweeps Marilyn into his arms, and disappears.
He takes her back to his cave, and for a week makes love to her all day and night.
Finally, Audrey organizes a rescue party, and Marilyn is saved and rushed to the hospital.
She is treated there for a couple of days and then her friend comes for a visit.
"Oh, Marilyn!" the friend sobs, "what a ghastly experience! How do you feel?"
"How should I feel?" sobs Marilyn, "he never writes, he never calls...!"
One tranquil afternoon in the deep forest, Doobeedoo, the very handsome frog, is preparing to go for a little hop around the pond. He is feeling pretty good about things today, and a little `out there,' so he puts on his flashy new white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit.
He goes out and takes in the beautiful morning. The sun is streaming softly through the tall pine trees. Doobeedoo takes a big breath of fresh air and smiles. Then full of life, he says to a passing deer, "I am God!"
He hops on for a while, and when he comes across a family of dragonflies, he puffs out his chest and says, "I am God!"
A little further on, he comes to Doreen the duck. He makes big eyes at her and in a spiritual tone says, "I am God!"
Doreen looks at the frog and says, "What?"
Doobee says again, "I am God!"
"I have been watching you," says Doreen, "and you have been telling that to everyone around the pond. Are you serious, or is it just that flashy white Yves Saint-Laurent swimsuit?"
"I am God!" says Doobee again.
"Enough of your silliness," says the duck. "Away with you, you smart-faced jerk!"
At this, Doobee pulls down his white swimsuit and exposes his machinery.
Doreen looks in amazement and says slowly, "Oh my God!"
Monday, 10 August 2009
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Saturday, 8 August 2009
She asks first:
How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Now this is spirituality! Almasta, only one -- they don't like to share the spotlight.
Her second question is:
How many Indians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, seven hundred millions, not a single person less -- the whole of India to pray to God for the old bulb to go back on.
Her third question is:
How many Catholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, two -- one to screw in the lightbulb and one to repent.
Her fourth question is:
How many nuclear physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, at least fifty -- one to screw in the lightbulb and forty-nine to figure out what to do with the old one.
Her fifth question is:
How many Italians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, only one -- but don't expect results.
Her sixth question is:
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, two -- just two, and you can always expect results too.
Her seventh question is:
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
Almasta, you can unscrew the lightbulb.
Her eighth question is:
How many Osho sannyasins does it take to screw a lightbulb in?
Almasta, five thousand plus one: one to screw the lightbulb in -- whose name is Haridas -- and the other five thousand to celebrate the great occasion.
And her ninth and the last question is:
How many Oshos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Almasta, none... sitting silently doing nothing, the spring comes and the lightbulb screws by itself.
Chapter title: Man is Born as Freedom